CONSTANCE RIVERA | Grievances | CONTACT
After years of trying to herd her drunk mates through the logistical war zone between pres and the club, local woo girl Mia D’Souza (26) has taken matters into her own hands by adopting a cattle dog.
Banjo, a two-year-old blue heeler with a high tolerance for chaos, was brought into the fold last month to assist with what Mia calls “the most gruelling part of the night”, the six-minute walk to the club.
“Between vape stops, deep philosophical tangents, two people suddenly falling in love, and someone ordering an HSP mid-walk, I knew I needed to call in reinforcements,” Mia explained.
Since joining the squad, Banjo has expertly rounded up stray girlies attempting to detour, intercepted rogue Hinge dates trying to merge with the group, and physically blocked one mate from sitting down on the footpath “just for a minute.”
“Banjo’s got that working dog energy,” Mia said. “Except instead of sheep, he’s dealing with a mob of drunk twenty-somethings.”
Since joining the squad, Banjo has expertly rounded up stray girlies attempting to detour, and comforted those who start crying about their exes.
Witnesses say Banjo’s herding instincts kicked in perfectly last Saturday night, when he formed a barrier to stop the girls from ditching the club to go home with a DJ named Bex.
Mia has ordered Banjo a hi-vis vest and declared him “the only man I trust on a night out.”
