EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACT
A local bloke has been revealed to have no original personality traits, with every single interesting aspect of his character directly traceable to a series of ex-girlfriends who were way cooler than him.
Mates close to Elijah Reynolds, 32, admit he’s gone through somewhat of a personality metamorphosis the past couple of years, having dated a few super cool sheilas who not only had impeccable fashion taste, but niche interests such as arthouse movies, Scandinavian metal and Japanese culture.
Which means Elijah too, is impeccably dressed, and interested in arthouse movies, Scandinavian metal and Japanese culture.
“Yeah, he’s way cooler now than he was a few years ago”, reveals Elijah’s closest mate, Nathan, “His last ex, Luna, basically revamped his entire wardrobe and got him to get a proper haircut.”
“He was such a slob before that.”
Elijah’s now alleged to be doing much better with the ladies now that he’s curated all these niche interests, and doesn’t dress like a 12 year old boy anymore.
So much so, that he’s just landed himself another cool girlfriend!
“Yeah, this one’s into nerdy shit, so I imagine he’ll start getting into that stuff too now”, says Nathan, “he’s already floated the idea of starting a D&D campaign with me.”
More to come.
