12 July, 2016. 15:34
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
THERE IS A VANDAL IN the Tasmania brothel town of Launceston who keeps defacing signs bearing the city’s name – and police want to talk to him.
Dubbed the “Launceston Bandit” by The Daily Examiner, the identity of the pervert is unknown. However, footprints found near the scene of one of the crimes indicates that it’s a man, or a big-hoofed female.
Speaking to the media this morning, Tasmanian Police superintendent Gai Docking said they’re closing in a suspect, but stopped short of naming names.
“We know you’re out there, Inceston Bandit,” she said, looking down the barrel of a Southern Cross Seven camera.
“What you’re doing isn’t funny. Not only is it frowned up to have sexual relations or ejaculate on a blood relative in Launceston, it’s actually illegal,”
“You will be forced to repair the signs at your own cost. Also, we know it’s you who keeps giving Ricky Ponting’s greyhounds chocolate. Please don’t do that, you’re making them sick.”
However, a recreational drug user from Invermay has hit back at police, saying that a little bit of graffiti never hurt anybody.
Dennis Coin spoke to The Advocate today after spending the morning throwing rocks at passing buses, a popular pastime in the Tamar capital.
“I think it’s piss funny,” said Coin.
“There’s not much to do here. When they stopped the booze bus from the Country Club Casino because too many people were throwing rocks at it, that really put a wet blanket on the fun fire. You can still smoke on public transport here,”
“Have you ever had a bad pinga on a Tuesday night? I have.”
Do you know who the Inceston Bandit is?
The Betoota Advocate encourages whistleblowers who aren’t dobbing on a mate, and others with access to information they believe should be revealed for the public good, to contact us. If you want to dob on a mate, then wake up to yourself cunt.
Please note, we cannot guarantee to directly respond to anything you send here.
