ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Popular celestial being, Jesus H Christ, has reportedly phoned the Independent Commission Against Corruption (ICAC) Hotline this afternoon to dob in former New South Boomerstan Premier, Michael Baird, amid speculation the former politician is set to become the next National Australia Bank (NAB) head.
The news comes after the NAB’s Chairman and CEO coming under Dresden-levels of bombardment following the Royal Commission’s ‘scathing’ review of their professional conduct.
Speaking exclusively to The Advocate this afternoon via magic mushrooms and a walk through the park, God’s son said that even he can tell something fishy is going on.
“Me and my dad’s book club is going through a bit of a rebrand at the moment,” said the distressed Capricorn.
“The Pope has had to deal with some serious shit these past years. Anyway, this Michael bloke used to thump my book
“So I called the ICAC people, who are slightly less corrupt than the NSW Government. But it’s enough. They said they’d look into it but fuck? Who knows? Anyway, hope you guys are well!”
Our reporter woke up in the Old City District’s Machattie Park with two policemen standing over him, asking if he was feeling OK.
They weren’t convinced with the answer they got so our reporter was escorted back to the newsroom on Daroo Street and given a glass of water.
More to come.
