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A passive aggressive hand written strata notice has become an Archduke Franz Ferdinand assassination spark to a great apartment complex war.
The note, which claims that “BIKES CAN NOT BE LOCKED IN THE APARTMENT LOBBY AS THEY ARE A FIRE ESCAPE HAZARD AND THE POLICE WILL BE NOTIFIED IF NECESSARY”, was written by Francesca Castelli (41), a longtime resident of the apartment.
Over the years, Francesca, who had a stint as the strata manager in 2017, has built a complex web of alliances throughout the apartment complex — allowing her to press new tenants to bend to her will.
The note, which was directed at a new tenant, hopes to nip the new bicycle habit in the bud, after Francesca noticed a worrying amount of new tenants move into the apartment.
“Once one bike is locked in that lobby it can just get out of control” declared Francesca.
Harry (24), one of the apartments newest tenants, is an avid bike rider who claims his studio apartment simply can’t fit his bike inside of it.
“I’m not going to lock my bike on the street, there’s plenty of room in the lobby? whats the big deal?” Harry decried.
Despite Harry being inexperienced with his new apartment’s politics, and completely outnumbered, he has miraculously found an avenue to fight back.
Greg Thornley (61), another long time resident of the apartment and one of the few owners of his apartment, also happens to be a cycling enthusiast.
“I never really thought about locking up my bike in the lobby! it’s going to create a bunch of space in my apartment! It’s great to have a young cyclist living in the apartment!!” Greg said gleefully.
Catastrophically, Harry has found himself in an alliance with the one man powerful enough to challenge Francesca’s rule — setting the stage for a passive aggressive war for the ages.
Moments after noticing Greg’s bike alongside Harry’s in the lobby, Francesca rushed to the apartment’s Whatsapp group chat to rally her forces.
“Guys, just want to remind everyone that the lobby is not a personal dumping ground, it’s a shared space that needs to be kept empty” she texted.
As different residents of the apartment fell in line, they prepared for a long, gruelling passive aggressive war of attrition over the winter months.
