EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACT
A group of blokes have once again found themselves having an in-depth conversation about the biggest animal they think they could take in a fight, which weirdly seems to be a topic they return to quite often.
Huddled into a booth at their favourite dive bar, The Bearded Weiner, mates Alec and Wade broached the subject after touching on the viral ‘100 men versus one gorilla argument ‘ which quickly segued into an enthusiastic hour long discussion about animals.
A discussion that would grow increasingly more perverse.
“Alright, what’s the biggest animal you could take in a fight, no weapons allowed”, asked Alec, “I think I could take down an emu.”
“Not a cassowary though, those things are fucked.”
Shaking his head, Wade reminds Alec that Australia quite literally lost a war to emus, before confidently stating he could strangle a giraffe.
“How the fuck are you going to strangle a giraffe, dickhead? Do you know how strong they are? They could decapitate you with a kick to the head.”
Wade is still adamant he could strangle a giraffe if he jumped onto one from a tree, which Alec thinks is stupid because the neck is way too thick.
Reece, who has just come back from the toilet, is asked what animal he reckons he could take and responds with a dolphin, which causes a divide in opinions.
“I don’t know man, I feel like you’d lose fighting anything in the water. I could definitely fight a dolphin on land though”, says Wade.
“OOOOOH you mean in a fight HAHA, laughs Reece, “I thought you meant – have any of you ever read that Vaporeon copypasta…”
“Haha I know exactly what you’re talking about, yes!”, says Alec, a little bit too enthusiastically, “which leads me to my next question…”
More to come.
