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With energy prices rising and the climate crisis looming, the Federal Government has unveiled a bold new strategy to ease cost-of-living pressures for families this winter.
The humble ethnic blanket.
Also known as the faux mink blanket, this iconic blanket is often adorned with galloping horses, vaguely Russian roses, or, most famously, the majestic tiger. It has long been the bedrock of thermal survival in ethnic households.
“These blankets are the reason my dad never installed ducted heating,” says Betoota Heights bricklayer Anton Ćelić (57).
Typically weighing as much as a bag of cement, the ethnic blanket has an unparalleled ability to trap body heat and lull users into a peaceful, coma-like slumber.
What it lacks in modern fire safety standards, it more than makes up for in its ability to slash electricity bills, ward off seasonal depression, and mimic either a warm hug from mum or the total suspension of conscious thought.
Anton is thrilled by the announcement: “When I heard the government was rolling them out, I thought, God, it’s such an obvious idea.
Everyone in my family sleeps with one in winter. We haven’t turned on a heater on since 1976!”
“Just don’t forget to air it out once a year,” he warned.
