TRACEY BENDINGER | Society | Contact
Audible gasps could be heard at the Old Betoota Winery Cafe this morning as a group of elderly travellers entered to discover they had struck gold, white gold. But not the kind of Colombian white gold that most of our readers would suspect. The kind of white gold that goes particularly well with berry jam and whipped cream.
Upon entering the cafe the elderly crews’ eyes were immediately drawn to a pile of freshly baked scones atop the counter.
Witnesses at the scene say the travellers could be heard whispering things like “oh goodie!” and “Jan, when was the last time you had a scone? We had better get one!”
Confused onlookers watched the elderly foursome as they huddled at a corner table and split two scones between the four of them, casting wary glances around to make sure no one was monitoring them too closely.
“Then they started to get really chatty and loud, and asking each other if they’d split another one.”
According to a geriatric expert from the Institute of Human Behaviour, if we account for advances in the availability of recreational vices, finding a scone is the olden day equivalent of finding a bag.
“Scones, strudel, carrot cake. Anything that’s not boiled meat is an exhilarating novelty for our older generations.”
“It’s like alcohol nowadays, it’s everywhere so younger folk go for the next hit. Who knows, perhaps in 50 years time we’ll see cocaine on countertops and finding a straight dopamine chip we insert into our triceps will be what gets kids giddy.”
More to come.
