FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT
Local man Nathan East was forced to suspend an unusually deep line of thought on Sunday when his searching skills, which until then he had been using to search for direction and identity, were reassigned to find a missing 10mm socket.
Like most men, Nathan reserves most of his top-shelf thinking for the shed, so it was no surprise when a simple lawnmower overhaul turned into a quest to find meaning, purpose and value in his finite existence.
“What does it all mean?” he asked himself.
“Why am I here? Have I already served my purpose? Was it just to have kids to fulfil my evolutionary obligation? If so, am I now obsolete? Superfluous? Or maybe my true role has yet to be realised. What if my entire purpose in life is to get this stuffed lawnmower running properly. Maybe I’ll find the answer behind this cylinder head”.
However, just as a philosophical epiphany and 4 stroke cylinder head removal seemed imminent, both were halted in their tracks by the absentee socket.
“Are you kidding me?” he asked the other 26 pieces of the 27-piece socket set. “It was right here. I was using it just last weekend to adjust the kids’ bike seats. Will the 3/8” socket fit?”
At this point a large scale search of the shed began, which lasted 45 minutes before concluding with swearing, a milk crate being kicked across the driveway, and the sound of a beverage being opened.
At time of print both the 10mm socket and Nathan’s self-evaluation of his own worth and position in the universe have yet to be located.
The lawnmower is still cooked.
