CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
The roaring binfire that has become the Queensland Government’s 2032 Olympics preparations has somehow resulted in the demolition of a heritage-listed cricket stadium, after a hysterical NIMBY campaign from inner-city gentrifiers on Brisbane’s southside.
The iconic Woolloongabba cricket stadium, colloquially known as ‘The Gabba’ will be torn down after the Brisbane Games, and summer tests will move to a new 60,000-seater stadium in the Victoria Park area of Brisbane, which will be built ahead of the Olympics.
This comes after half decade of failed efforts from multiple state governments to expand the seating capacity of the iconic cricket ground, and to simplify Olympics preparations by making the most of the sporting infrastructure that already exists in the River City.
The Gabba hosted its first Test in 1931 and has staged 67 men’s matches alongside two women’s Tests, as well as countless domestic matches as well as other codes including Aussie Rules and even rugby.
Sadly, the factory workers and fruitshop owners that once lived in the inner Brisbane cricket precinct have since been replaced by yuppie graphic designers and academics. And the only thing these new residents hate more than the joy of organised sport, is the sounds of Triple M blaring on a major construction sight.
While the NIMBYs may have succeeded in shutting down any plans to host the 2032 Olympics in their own backyard, it seems that they will not be able to avoid the sight of cranes and CFMEU flags for the next decade.
Because, in a glorious backwards slide for Brisbane’s cultural fabric, the Gabba will now be turned into high rise housing towers. A compromise that is going to absolutely fuck up the traffic, health and education services far worse than a seasonal crowd of cricketing fans ever could.
It’s also pissed off the rest of Queensland, who had grown used to bouncing between the The German Club, Pineapple Hotel and the Aussie Nash during each summer of cricket. Who knows what weird pubs they’ll have to settle on for test match pre-loading in the new Victoria Park precinct.
However, initial artist’s impressions of the new Gabba haven’t gone done as badly as everyone was expecting, with developers proposing 89,000 dwelling, all of which will be contained within 8-10 blonde brick unit blocks.
The iconic Queensland blonde brick apartment block has grown to become the only acceptable style of high-density housing in the Sunshine State, and even the most whinging yuppies in East Brisbane are struggling to find an issue with turning the Gabba into a sexed up and sunkissed 1980s Gold Coast.
