WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
As the world scrambles to figure out what the fucks going on with this Russian vaccine, Australia has wasted little time in trying to get in on the action.
Russian President Vladimir Putin has today claimed that he has signed off on a vaccine for the virus after two months of human trials, and put in an order for a billion doses.
While plenty of western experts are seeking to stress that the effects of this ‘vaccine’ are yet to be confirmed and asking for leaders to exercise caution Putin has assured everyone the dose has a 100% effectiveness rate.
“We have trialed our vaccine over the last two months in the northern parts of Siberia and the outskirts of Moscow and have yet to see someone who hasn’t been cured,” explained Putin earlier today.
“It’s certainly a lot easier than lying and diagnosing huge amounts of cases of pneumonia,” he continued.
“So we have ordered a huge amount of doses and are confident we will no be able to defeat the Covid.”
That statement of confidence has lead our Prime Minister Scott Morrison to do whatever he can to get his hands on the vaccine for our nation.
“Yeah, apparently it works every time, and is going to be pretty cheap. It will be a great look for our numbers and will allow us to return to normal,” explained Morrison.
“So I’ve put in a bulk order. Hopefully, it’s here before the start of next week.”
