RORY SALAZAR | Finance | Contact
A worthless and lazy local government employee has finally been put in their place for the 6th time today during a heated exchange with an irate, elderly ratepayer.
The irate ratepayer, Mr John Brazier (85), a man known to Council for his incessant verbal assaults on staff, daily visits to the customer service desk to register complaints, and his awful tendency to take over community consultation sessions to complain about everything Council has fucked up over the last 65 years, was forced to educate yet another fuckwit Council worker today on what’s what.
“My rates pay your wages,” Brazier spat rudely into the face of Council worker, Elise Jones (32), during this afternoon’s community engagement session down at the Betoota Grove Community Centre.
In response, Ms Jones reportedly nodded her head before rolling her eyes and saying, “Wow, I’ve never heard that one before. Thank you, John.” However, Mr Brazier’s hearing aids must have been turned down low because the angry bastard began repeatedly shouting, “MY rates pay YOUR wages!” as he picked up his walking frame and attempted to thrust it into Ms Jones’ bodily person in disgust.
Ms Jones, who was described by several colleagues and friends as a ‘salt of the earth’ type with a ‘kind heart’ who would ‘give you the shirt off their back’ was forced to defend herself.
Unfortunately, Mr Brazier lost balance during his attack and fell, and was later rushed to the Betoota State Hospital via Ambulance.
The Advocate can report that the old bastard appears to have suffered from a rare form of ‘locked in’ syndrome, whereby he is unable to move any part of his face or body apart from his mouth hole which seems to repeat the phrase “my rates pay your wages” 16 times a minute.
At Mr Brazier’s hospital bedside, Doctors advised the man’s family – who absolutely hate the old git – that assisted forms of dying usually have a very strict eligibility criteria but in this case they will make an exception if that’s what the family wishes.
A large number of Council staff have come out in a stunning show of support of the family and offered to pay for the assisted dying related medical expenses from their own wages.
More to come.
