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In some news from the world of Victorian Leg Tennis, the Carlton Football Club has turned in an absolute vintage performance this weekend, it can be confirmed.

The infamous club from Melbourne’s inner city put on a clinic yesterday afternoon, to throw away their game against arch-rivals Collingwood.

Played in front of 88,000 teeth-gnashing Victorians, the club with a long history of underperforming once again found a way to bomb out of the match and their season.

Holding 8th and last place in the race for finals, the Blues dug deep to let Collingwood run over the top of them and score 3 unanswered goals in the last few minutes.

Needing to win to play finals, Carlton had previously amassed a huge lead of 26 points with less than a quarter to play.

However, like the week before, where a win would have guaranteed them a spot in the finals, the team that loves to let their fans down managed to concede a last minuted goal to ruin everything.

Those consecutive losses now mean the Western Bulldogs have snuck into 8th spot, with a 1% better points differential than their inner-city rivals.

The loss has been described as the perfect exclamation mark on Carlton’s season, with yet another few months of hype and belief once again petering out into a Gold Coast Suns-length off-season.

Every single Carlton fan we contacted for the story was unavailable to provide comment.

More to come.

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