ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A man known locally as “Big Dum [sic] Brum” or simply “BDB” says he has no regrets about fleeing Birmingham, after recently revisiting old footage of his hometown from before the rot set in.
The footage, taken from the early-90s children’s show Brum, shows a lost city. One with working shops, clean streets, and a population that had not yet been overwhelmed by vape stores, heroin, and administrative collapse.
Real name Callum Price, the 35-year-old made the move to Betoota in last year, shortly before a wave of garbage collector strikes saw rubbish pile waist-deep across the city.
“It used to be just a bit grim. Then it got biblical,” he said, showing off the Turkish veneers he picked up on the way here.
With the Birmingham City Council formally declaring bankruptcy, BDB says there is little left to go back for.
Locals were initially confused by his nickname, until it was explained that “Brum” is not only the name of the children’s TV car, but also the term for people from Birmingham. A fact now treated with some embarrassment by the city’s surviving diaspora.
Now working as a personal trainer in Betoota Heights, BDB says he intends to stay in the Channel Country indefinitely.
“No way man,” he said.
“I’m a successful middle-class white migrant, I’ll have a passport in 5 years times and have my parents directly, too. Swing loooooooooooow sweeeeeeet chaaaaaaariottt.
More to come.
