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In a rare lapse of concentration during one of his famous marketing executive pitches, Scotty From Marketing has today had a slip of the tongue that may be used against him in the future
Speaking to the media today, the PM has accidentally referred to the government’s new HomeBuilder scheme as “Homeboomer” – inaverdently references the 100 hours of marketing focus groups that took place to come up with the title of the new economic stimulus package.
This comes as Prime Minister’s Office spent roughly two hours this morning looking for a residential lawn that hadn’t been recently reseeded to host an afternoon press conference with a bit of scaffolding in the background.
Not even days after the Federal Government first unveiled the new voter tickling grant, which $25,000 for a very targeted demographic to upgrade or build their homes.
The eligibility criteria are reasonably tight, with the Government expecting about 27,000 homeowners to access the scheme – out of the 7.7 million private dwellings that currently exist in Australia.
As was reported earlier by the Betoota Advocate, it seems this package will only benefit aspirational post-war voters who fit into an extremely niche bracket of Quiet Australians who have an income of less than 200k per year, but also have a equivalent to 75% of their annual income to spend on a property that costs less than $750k.
However, the accusations of gerrymandering from political rivals and the millions of Australians who don’t meet this particular wealth-hoarding-boomer-friendly criteria, have all but been confirmed today.
“So yeah, the thing is” said Scotty, during on his press conferences to 16 different News Corp journalists and the one or two Channel 9 interns.
“This scheme there to help young tradies and their families get a bit of walking around money, you know”
“That’s why this HomeBoomer package is so impor…”
Scotty immediately froze and covered his mouth with a gasp, as he registered his colossal gaffe.
“I mean, HomeBuilder. HomeBuilder… That’s what I meant”
“You know like builders… Tradies… Iced Coffee… Bloody, umm, sport, Zoo magazine. Those kinda blokes”
“I definitely meant to say HomeBuilder”
“Anyway the HomeBoomer package is there to help stimulate the ec….”
“Oh for fucks sake!!”
The PM then paused and took in some deep breaths before calling it a day.
“Oi can you guys just scrap your footage and we can try again tomorrow”
“I’ve completely fucked it today. This is not going to play well in the polls”
At time of press, every single journalist had agreed to the Prime Minister’s demands – providing he promised that their employers would be applicable for another $882 million tax rebate like the one Abbott gave them in 2014.
Morrison assured them that Rupert would be paying no tax this year, and that that has always been the plan, ever since he was handed the 2019 Federal Election.
If not for The Betoota Advocate reporter who had gone undercover as Channel 7 reporter in a pin-striped Tarocash suit, this story may have never seen the light of day.
MORE TO COME.
