WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
In some exciting news for aspiring politicians and political staffers, one of Australia’s longest serving members of parliament has released a new book to celebrate election season.
Warren Whitely-Wilson (56) from the interior Queensland seat of Cruzijohb has just dropped a fresh new ‘how to guide’ for aspiring politicians.
Titled ‘Policrastination For Dummies,’ the new self help book is a compilation of useful tips and tricks Whitely-Wilson has learnt from a career on the backbench doing absolutely sweet eff aye.
“It’s a real page turner, and I’m excited to be able to actually offer my constituents something this election,” laughed Whitely-Wilson.
The man who lives in the bustling inland city of Skidmark, whose dad held the seat for 33 spins around the sun before handing it over to him, said he’s learnt so much over the years.
“When you have a three year election cycle all you need to do is focus on short term sugar hits that keep you in power, and do nothing to improve the lives of future Australians,” said Whitely-Wilson.
“Particulalrly now we have a 24-hour-news cycle, you can just sit on your hands and let the campaign strategists work themselves into a tizz about culture wars bullshit.”
“And because I’m in a safe seat here I don’t see any of those pork-barrelling dollars to upgrade a sports facility that got upgraded 2 elections ago.”
“So I’ve learnt a lot of great ways to just kick the can down the road, or policrastinate as I like to call it.”
“For example, having serious issues keeping young people in town because of underfunded services and limited social activities to incentivise them to stay – give your mate’s company a million bucks to build a skate park.”
“Then you can get some photos ahead of the election and tell everyone about it on polling day.”
“Easy as.”
“But I’m not giving away any more secrets. You’ll need to buy the book if you want more,” he laughed.
More to come.
