WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
A strip of pristine natural beauty has today spoken out about its impending fate.
A local chunk of old growth forest in NSW’s Great Koala National Park, was reportedly stoked to learn that it will end its life as some much-maligned wood chips in a children’s playground.
Speaking to our reporter, the piece of old growth forest explained to us the frustration with the situation.
“You must understand, young Hobbit, it takes a long time to say anything in Old Entish. And we never say anything unless it is worth taking a long time to say,” said the tree over the course of a 8 hour interview.
“The fact that we are being turned into those playground wood chips that everyone hates, pains me to no end.”
“Imagine if your fate was to splinter a young kid just trying to get sweet air off a slippery dip.”
This comes as the nation that prides itself on its natural beauty and biodiversity continues to log the sweet baby Jesus out of our native forests.
Despite being economically and environmentally unviable, states like NSW and Tasmania continue to gut native forests at eyewatering losses.
Not only do government funded bodies like the NSW Forestry Corporation continue to lose 10s of millions of dollars a year, but much of the native forest is used for low grade products like firewood and wood chips.
Both major parties last year teamed up to prevent a ban on native forest logging, and in spite of the seemingly illogical pillaging of our wilderness, the Coalition has sought to make the issue an election one.
Despite hemorrhaging voters to Independents in key seats on environmental issues, Temu Trump has also forged ahead promising to protect the right to log native forest.
“To harm the forest is to harm oneself. We Ents understand this better than any,” said the spokestree for the Great Koala National Park.
“If the states want to protect us, as per the constitution, then the States should be allowed to do so.”
Also in the woodworks, it’s rumoured that, if elected, Temu Trump would establish a National Forestry Corporation to instruct the states on their State Forest’s fate.
It’s yet to be determined if the spokestrees’ comments will have any effect on its fate, with no one still able to explain why taxpayers are paying for the economically unviable practice of native forest logging.
Sources close to Betoota are calling this yet another one of Temu Trump’s ‘change it, flip it and reverse it’ campaign tactics, one which is looking eerily similar to his most recent backflip on public service cuts.
More to come.
