ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Ouchies were had big time at the Gallagher residence last night in Betoota Heights as young Brett Gallagher received a traditional smiley burn on his 18th birthday – ushering in the responsibilities of manhood.
In the backyard of number 34 Rockwood Road, the 18-year-old’s best mate Davo called for hush around 4pm yesterday afternoon to tell the party it was now time for the traditional burning ceremony to take place.
Davo, in his best outside voice, called for a Bic lighter to be thrown to the front of the growing scrum of partygoers around Brett, now rolling up the right sleeve of his best Country Target button down.
“Oi,” bellowed Dave.
“A bit of fucking shush! Ok! It’s time for the smiley! Who’s got a Bic lighter?!”
The party reportedly roared with anticipation.
Mrs Gallagher stood in the back doorway shedding tears that her youngest fuck up was about to become an adult in the eyes of the justice system.
Annie Overell, the middle-daughter of The Advocate’s own editor, Clancy, pulled a pink Bic lighter from her Cotton On clutch and pegged it as hard as she could at Dave – striking him smack back in the palm.
“Are you fucking ready?!” Dave asked the crowd, holding the lit lighter above his head like his parents did at the recent Air Supply concert at the Dolphins Leagues Club.
The party screamed and roared for the burning to take place.
Brett shut his eyes and took a deep breath out.
“Do it, cunt,” he said softly up at Dave.
And with that, the nigh-on-molten lighter was thrust into Brett’s throbbing forearm as everybody hooted and hollered in ecstasy.
“Ahhhhh!!!! Fuuuuuuccccckkkk!!!!” yelled Brett at the top of his lungs.
His father shouted from the back door.
“Ride the lightning, son! You gotta ride that pain out! Yeehaw! That’s my fucking boy, everyone! Yip yeeee!”
Davo ripped the lighter from Brett’s forearm after what seemed an age, taking with it a large amount of charred skin and nerve endings.
But through the pain and distress, Brett managed to find the strength to stand and beat his chest after the ordeal.
The party exploded in unabridged fanfare.
Festivities lasted long into last night and our reporter bid farewell just as Brett and Annie Overell were seen retiring to the skatepark behind his parent’s third-acre block.
More to come.
