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A report released to has revealed legendary racing mare Winx is in fact a 7-year-old horse and that she just wants to eat carrots.
After recording her 26th consecutive win on the weekend in a race named after her, the praise for Winx has hit dizzying heights, including a commemorative postage stamp.
As she carries the weight of an entire industry on her back, congratulatory messages have been flooding in from across the world, with dignitaries and fans who passionately cheered her down the Royal Randwick turf, showering “Darling Winx” with praise.
Trainer Chris Waller broke down in tears telling Winx how much she means to his bank balance.
Though as it turns out through this report, Winx, being a horse, doesn’t understand the english language and she “sure as fuck doesn’t understand the racing industry”.
The report concludes that “Winx is a horse. It is quite clear in our findings that she doesn’t give a fuck about any of this fanfare and she would much prefer to be at home, hooking into a nice, crunchy carrot”.
Other findings in the report suggested that she likes having her tail brushed and enjoys being patted down the nose.
