ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Internal crisis washed over a mid-level manager this afternoon as he stood in the stiff breeze on the tarmac at Melbourne Tullamarine.
There are many above and many below him at the company, but local pool chemical salesman Rob Dulhuntley always thought his bosses viewed him as Virgin material or better.
Before him in the setting sun, a glistening A320 bogan missile and a two-hour jump back to Betoota after a fruitless expedition down south to drum up a bit more business.
“Christ,” he said to himself softly.
“We must be about to go under.”
The 35-year-old’s blood was chilled when, looking up at the departure board, he saw both a Qantas and Jetstar flight to Betoota Remienko this afternoon. It wasn’t a scheduling problem, he explained to The Advocate later. It was simply cost.
“I’m obviously not getting any points or status credits for this leg,” he added.
“They could’ve booked me on that Qantas flight but they didn’t. That can only mean one thing.”
As Rob sat down and perused the rather uncouth menu, which offers things like Pringles and flavoured condoms to pre-purchase before landing in Bali as they’re illegal in Indonesia, he couldn’t help but sigh.
He slumped back in his seat and reminisced on all the good times he’s nodded politely as the stewardess and moments later, a second or third can of James Boags would materialised and sometimes, he says, if they liked the look of him, he’d get a little bag of peanuts, too.
“Ah Joni, you really don’t know whatcha got ’till it’s gone,” he said.
“I’d love a beer but I’m not paying $13 for a Hahn Super Dry mid. That’s been in the man stewardesses paw for 5 minutes so it’s nice and warm. Honest to God, I’d rather get on the XPT to Brisbane then the Birdsville Bullet the next morning. At least you can still smoke on the train and get your own room. It’s the best way to travel. Turn the shower on in the sleeper and blow the smoke out the exhaust vent. Hook into some red you’ve smuggled aboard. Get stoned. Serious. Try it,”
“But progress takes that, too.”
More to come.
