ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
The Prime Minister has turned to a virtual genie this morning in his latest bid to find an election miracle similar to the one that swept him to an unlikely victory at the 2019 Federal Election.
Each morning before some national security advisors rudely interrupt him, Scott Morrison likes to “get in the zone” by playing 40 minutes of the original Sims game, which features a genie that rewards the player with riches beyond all comprehension – or burdens them with bad luck.
“Come on, you purple bastard!” Morrison was heard saying to his laptop this morning.
“I need a miracle.”
Shortly after ordering his Sim, which bears a striking resemblance to the Member for Cook, Morrison bowed his head.
“Oh for fuck’s sake! More bills!” he sighed.
“That’s the last thing I need.”
It’s unknown how long Mr Morrison has been an avid player of The Sims, a game that reached the height of its popularity in the late 1990s.
However, a nod to the video game series was mentioned in Peter van Onselen’s 305-page sleeping pill How Good’s Scott Morrison? which was published in 2021.
In the book, Morrison was said to have gotten into the game around the time that the Livin’ Large Expansion Pack was released in August 2000.
At the time, the budding parliamentarian had just returned from a stint working for Tourism New Zealand and arrived home to take up the position as the state director for the New South Wales Liberal Party.
“Whether it was the long hours spent at 30 000 feet over the Tasman Sea or the droll nature of life in the Land of the Long Silver Cloud, it was hard to tell how and why Scott developed such a penchant for the Sims,” wrote PVO.
“He was a ruthless player. If any Sim slighted him even the slightest, he’d command them to enter the pool and shortly after, delete the pool ladder so the Sim was doomed to swim until exhaustion took them to the bottom,”
“Perhaps that’s where he developed his killer political instincts.”
More to come.
