ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Prime Minister Anthony Albanese has confirmed he will visit South Australia’s diseased wang next week, after weeks of mounting criticism that his government had been slow to address the environmental crisis gripping the region.
The Yorke Peninsula, long regarded as South Australia’s doodle, is currently choked by a sprawling, toxic algal bloom that’s killing fish, rays and lesser marine life. While the algae poses no direct threat to humans, the smell has been described by locals as “like a wharfie’s sock but worn as a balaclava.”
Albanese announced the trip on ABC radio this morning following a tense phone call with the state’s Mayor Peter Malinauskas, who has been on the ground meeting with communities and tourism operators staring down the barrel of a ruined summer season.
“I’ll be heading down to the wang’s tip to see the damage for myself,” Albanese said.
“We know this is a serious situation for the local economy, for the environment and for the thousands of people who were planning on making their annual pilgrimage to Yorkes for Christmas. I’d say go still. Even with the algae, it’s better than spending Christmas in Renmark,”
“And look, I used to live near the Cooks River in Sydney, which pongs like a gutshot possum at low tide so believe me, I know what it’s like.”
Locals say the Prime Minister’s visit is overdue.
“Mate, we’ve been up to our necks in this foam shit for weeks,” said Ardrossan fisherman Gary Bisset.
“We’ve lost half the season already. Now we get Albo down here for a few photos and maybe a press conference on the jetty if it doesn’t stink too bad.”
Environment Minister Murray Watt apologised yesterday for the government’s sluggish response, promising more resources and better coordination.
Until then, the doodle remains diseased, and locals can only hope the PM’s visit will deliver more than just photos.
More to come.
