LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
With all the enthusiasm of showing up to fulfil their conscription notice, single mother Angelina Wood (38) rocked up to her 20 year high school reunion.
While no one is quite sure how the tradition of school reunions began, many people agree that the person who devised the first one should be shot and their DNA expunged from humanity.
Although Wood was not forced to attend her school reunion, an odd sense of social pressure weighed down on her as if her not attending could be seen as a statement of cowardice, sort of like the year 12 formal.
Wood need not have worried as once she arrived at the Betoota Boer War Returned Servicemen Club she was immediately ushered to a rag tag table of her former pupils who, like her, are divorced and ready to have an absolute belter.
The table, colloquially referred to as the Divorcee Detention Centre, consisted of roughly 12 members, five buckets of champagne on ice, a rotating selection of shot glasses, a 2003 heavy soundtrack and a hookah that one of them presumably brought from home.
“My mum has the kids tonight and most of tomorrow,” stated one of Wood’s former debating team mates who would like to remain anonymous in case anything they do at the reunion becomes a police matter later on.
“Fuck remembering the old times, let’s forget the current ones!”
Throughout the night, the dirty divorced dozen did little to speak to the other guests of the reunion, coughed loudly during the slideshow of old photos, collectively mooned the camera during the group photo and were undeniably the group of people having the most fun.
“Shit, I might need to go for a tactical vom,” stated Wood, recreating a popular technique used during the great feasts of ancient Rome.
“This is great!”
Eventually, other reunion attendees had to leave either because their partners had had enough or due to family commitments but the members of the Divorcee Detention Centre raged on like the last nobles of a decaying dynasty soaking the final crumbs of their spelt harvest in the wine of a penultimate summer.
