WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
In some breaking news from Betoota Plains, a local man is officially in outer space right now.
The local mergers and acquisitions guy known to friends, family and acquaintances as Jeff, is currently on another planet it can be confirmed.
That news comes as no surprise to his girlfriend Beth, who is expecting to have a slightly reduced schedule of interaction with her current life partner this weekend.
“Yeah, he’s gone,” sighed Beth, pausing her TikTok scroll to speak to our reporter.
“He went and got the new PlayStation VR2 and just ordered the No Man’s Sky game,” she laughed.
“I’m not expecting ground control to hear too much from Major Jeff for the next few hours,” she laughed.
“Other than just hearing things like “oh my god” and “phuarrrrrrrrrr” every few minutes and him talking to random video game characters lol.”
Beth explained to The Advocate that after banging on for months about getting the headset, Jeff was like a kid in an arcade store after finally getting his hands on the new tech.
“You shoulda seen him,” she laughed.
“Like a young YouTube star in one of those unboxing videos.”
“He’s having fun though, and he’ll be able to properly fulfill his babysitting duty next time my nieces and nephews are over, so I’m happy with this outcome.”
The Advocate understandably attempted to speak to the young man at the heart of the story, but he is reportedly ‘feeling a new real’ – and was unavailable for comment as a result of commandeering a new spaceship.
More to come.
This post was sponsored by PlayStation 5.
