RORY SALAZAR | Finance | Contact
A wholesome Gen Z’er has spent quality time with her Aunt and Uncle this afternoon, playing a fun new version of the classic board game, Monopoly – the Australia Edition.
Axolotl Goitre (19) is endearingly kind and naive for her age. She loves spending time with her Olds and thinks they are pretty cool for a couple of boomers in their 60s.
“I’ll be the shoe! And Uncle Rick I guess you want to be the race car, am I right?” she cheekily asked, knowing he loves fancy sports cars.
“Does the Pope shit on a bear in the woods?” boomed her Uncle, a man who has enjoyed an uninterrupted lifetime of success upon success.
“Right then,” Ax said as she picked up the dice and shook them close to her ear, “Youth before wisdom. Haha, I go first!”
The Gen Z’er was just about to roll when Aunty Cath screamed, “Wait a sec! You haven’t finished setting up the board, you stupid girl.”
Reviewing the board, Ax was confused. She’d set up the community chest cards, chance cards, and she was managing the bank perfectly, certain that everyone had the right amount of money to start.
“Sorry Aunty, I’m not sure what you mean?”
Aunty Cath thought her young, naive niece was stupid and shot her a cutting look that gave Ax the impression her Aunty thought she was young, naive and stupid.
“This is the Australia Edition,” Aunty Cath explained. “Boomers start with houses on the board.”
The woman said this while grabbing a hand full of little green houses and stringing them across 50% of the properties available.
Uncle Rick did the same for the remaining 50%.
“I swear kids today haven’t got a clue. Don’t even know how Monopoly works,” he scoffed.
“The country’s gone to the dogs,” agreed Aunty. She snatched the dice from a shocked Axolotl. “And it’s age before beauty, you stupid girl.”
She rolled two sixes.
In that moment Ax felt all of the feels but knew not to express them in front of her Aunt and Uncle, lest she make them mad.
Confused, she rolled her turn, a six.
She landed on Betoota Grove where Uncle Rick had two houses.
“Baha!” Shouted Uncle Rick drunkenly.
“Pay up you little shit. $1,250 a-thank you!”
Ax paid the rent and lasted as long as she could in the game, which wasn’t long.
