LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
School is back on for 2023 which means the Catholic education system is once again forced to roll their eyes and continue teaching this science shit.
According to 2021 figures, there are approximately 1700 Catholic schools in Australia providing a religious education to almost 785,000 students, which considering the church’s history could be considered 785,000 ‘at risk youths’.
Along with providing children and teenagers with a spiritual education, the Catholic education system also gives students the appearance of being privately educated with a dash of toxic sports worship, and without the secular focus on actual education.
This lack of quality can perhaps best be seen in the science labs of Catholic high schools where Science teachers are forced to teach unreasonable theories such as evolution, the power of stem cells and the effectiveness of contraception.
This was on display for all today at Betoota’s prestigious and prudent Joan Of Arc Ladies College.
“The Catholic Church has always been a big supporter of science” joked science teacher Mrs Bright.
“Especially all of those silly vaccines for promiscuous women [laughter]”
“Alright, settle down, let’s get this rubbish over with.”
Bright is one of many Catholic science teachers who wishes the government would keep their beak out and let schools come up with a faith based science curriculum.
“It works better when we blend them together. For example, I taught chemical bonds by explaining how Lot’s wife was turned into a pillar of NaCl.”
Bright is also one of a fringe members of teachers who would like to see flogging come back in order to dissuade any would-be Galileos from thinking the right to decent education revolves around them.
“Charles Darwin married his cousin, just remember that.”
MORE TO COME.
