KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
A local courier has decided to embrace the concept of quiet quitting today as he processes the worst few weeks of his working life.
Like tax time for accountants or school report season for teachers, every profession goes through a particularly tough patch that inspires them to consider resigning on the spot.
For 46-year-old Startrack Courier Kevin Johnson, that period has arrived, as Betoota residents gorge themselves on online purchases they don’t need like a ski jacket for summer or a sparkling XL sized air fryer.
A period that is signalled by the first Black Friday email to enter his junk folder.
Now tasked with delivering all of the goodies purchased by the glutinous pigs of Betoota, Kevin reportedly decided that he would do the absolute minimum today and treat himself to an early finish. Spotted at 8:55am this morning, witnesses say Kev drove his semi-trailer packed with dinner plates, candles and other uninspiring Christmas gifts to the Betoota town square and simply hit the dump button.
Talking to our reporter out of the driver’s side window as a cacophony of smashing glass candles and cardboard shoe boxes filled the streets, Kevin said he quite frankly couldn’t be assed hand delivering it all.
“Mate, I don’t get paid enough to walk up to every numpty’s door, evade some bloodthirsty Rottweiler, knock three times and then wait for them to come sign some scanner that we both know doesn’t count for shit.”
“I’m just gonna dump this load here and everyone can get their ass off the couch and find their own package, in fact the local post office should be thanking me.”
“Just keep an eye out for a long box from BCF, I did treat myself to a new fishing rod in the sales so I’ve gotta grab that and then I’m outta here.”
