LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
A household got a new member today at the exact same time planet Earth got a new pollutant.
Returning home with a goldfish he confusingly named Puppy, six-year-old James Forward introduced Puppy to his home for the next year or so.
Somehow, Forward forgot to introduce the plastic bag to the environment where the plastic bag would reside for the next 150,000,000 years.
“Don’t shake the bag!” warned Forward’s mum, as if it would shorten the futile life expectancy of the fish.
“Remember, this is a big responsibility.”
The Forward family then placed Puppy in his fish tank where he would live for the next year and the plastic bag in the bin, where it would live in landfill for the next 150 million years.
Young James has reported that Puppy is loving his new home, even if he will be lucky to see one winter.
Meanwhile, the plastic bag will remain on planet earth for the next 150 million years, by which time humans hopefully have adapted to eat plastic.
According to staff at Betoota PetCo, they are concerned about the impact of single use plastic but say they will take that over the trauma they caused after a botched paper bag trial.
