KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
An alphabetically arranged wall of tourist brochures is about to be obliterated, unprepared for the wrath of an insanely bored toddler.
After spending the last five years practically untouched thanks to the arrival of smartphones and Instagram-tourism, it’s believed the wall of pamphlets hanging on the wall of Betoota’s Mercure Hotel will soon undergo a once in a decade refurbishment.
Standing at the foot of the glossy display of holiday brochures, 2-year-old holiday maker Jaxson Summers, is about to renovate the place beyond belief.
“I’ve been wandering around this dumb foyer for the last 8 minutes with nothing to do, what do you expect me to do?”, little Jaxson told The Advocate.
“Mum won’t let me have my iPad cos it’s strapped to the front seat of the car, the only way to get any attention is to destroy the place!”
Speaking to our reporter on the ground, the pretentious toddler told The Advocate it’s the hotel’s own fault for not providing adequate training to their reception staff, coupled with the fact that they’ve failed to offer a suitable corner of toys to play with.
“We’ve been here for like 10 minutes and that gumpy idiot at the front desk can’t find our room booking, it’s 2022 why aren’t we checked in yet!”
“I’ve just driven 6 hours to get to this stupid hotel and they can’t even put a baby table and a few old copies of The Hungry Hungry Caterpillar in a basket somewhere.”
“What gives!”
Admitting he has high expectations for a child that has yet to master hand and eye coordination, Mr Jaxson said this holiday was soon becoming the worst of his young life.
“My mates from daycare told me about a hotel on the Gold Coast that has a plasma in the lobby playing Bluey 24/7 – how the other half live hey!”
“Oh well, it’s time to take every single one of these dumb pamphlets off the wall and shred them to pieces!”
“This will be fun!”
More to come.
