EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact
If local couple James and Harper weren’t so goddamn lovely, you’d probably resent them a little bit.
A rare breed, the pair met when they were just eighteen years old, and have managed to keep the love strong ten years later – often still seen gazing at each other with the adoration usually reserved for that honeymoon glow.
Of course, having been with no one else with each other, they’ve never had to navigate the tricky landscape that is modern dating or the horror that is Tinder. In fact, Harper has never even been sent an unsolicited dick pic or had someone suggest a ‘dinner and movie 😏‘ as a first date.
Which is why they live vicariously through their perpetually single friend Vanessa, who seems to have taken on the brunt of dating drama for them – and they love every second of it.
“Sooooo have you been on any dates lately?”, asks James with sickening interest, “found the one?”
“Oooh yes what happened to the chewing gum guy?” Harper adds excitedly.
Knowing her part to play, Vanessa lets out an exaggerated sigh, followed by a dramatic pause.
“Well, I’ve seen a guy a couple of times but I’m not sure about him, there’s a few red flags.”
Glancing at each other excitedly, the couple encourage their little freak to spill the tea.
“He said he’s never had a relationship longer than three months but didn’t really go into detail.”
“And has a tattoo of a massive pair of forceps on his shin, which is a bit odd haha.”
“Buuuuut, he was really good in bed though so I don’t know, might be worth a revisit hahaha.”
More to come.
