ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
The Prime Minister is mulling a coup should he lose this weekend’s election, insiders say, after telling aides that “they’ll need a bulldozer to get him out of Kirribilli”.
The question of his political future should he go down swinging against Anthony Albanese has been put to Scott Morrison a number of times this week and each time, he has dodged the question.
Political analysts from the prestigious Russ Hinze School of Political Science at the South Betoota Polytechnic College have suggested that a possible insurrection is not off the cards, considering how much Morrison enjoys the perks of being Australia’s Bloke-in-Chief.
“With these alleged statements by Morrison being revealed this morning, we could see a possible Eureka situation at Kirribilli House,” said Professor Dale Clarke, who has a Cert III in Political Discourse.
“The PM’s internal party opposition could be liquidated or arbitrarily detained for some reason. Typically, we’ve seen other leaders around the world form a sort of Praetorian Guard around them. Perhaps here, it’d be a splinter group of soldiers from Australia’s elite special forces regiments. They’d be able to make short work of any hapless middle-aged AFP officer trying to stop them from entering Kirribilli House,”
“Then there’s the issue of gaining control of parliament, which I’d assume would be done by Peter Dutton and his own personal paramilitary force. It would be largely bloodless, which is typical for modern democratic coup attempts.”s
Professor Clarke then pursed his lips and sighed.
“I’m no expert in constitutional law but I think it’d be left to The Queen to order the storming of Kirribilli House with members of the ADF who are still loyal to the country,” he said.
“Again, I’m no expert but you’re asking me to speculate on a possible scenario and that’s what I’m doing.”
More to come.
