FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT
A father of 2 is in a concerning state today after tragically being exposed to the full length of a United Australia Party television commercial last night.
Dean Goode, 43, was watching television alone in his Chatswood home when his show was interrupted by a commercial break.
Like all forms of Australian media it contained a UAP commercial, which normally act as a prompt to remind Australians that it might be a good time to go to the bathroom, clean out the washing machine filter, or dust the top of the refrigerator.
Unfortunately for Dean, before he was able to safely evacuate the room or change the channel, the ad was already in full swing and he was incapacitated for the full 30 second slot.
“I was watching a tv singing show. Yellow ad come on with noisy fat suit” explained Dean from his inpatient care facility.
“Battery no good on the remote. I try to run, but too late. Head hurting big now”.
Neurosurgeon Eric Bonnette says this is one of many cases of what he terms ‘instantaneous brain corrosion’ he has seen and warns it will not be the last.
“Really, there should be some sort of warning from the Surgeon General before UAP commercials to give people time to protect themselves from the barrage of mind-destroying bullshit” he warned.
“Because by the time Clive realises he’s pissed his workers’ money away we could have wards full of babbling men. You can already see some of them in the background of these exact commercials”.
Sadly, for Dean the outlook is bleak, with no known treatment for a case with a such heavy exposure.
Already signs of permanent neurological damage are apparent, with a UAP sign appearing on the front fence of his house.
“Yellow blob very clever!”
“I vote for him to save Austria”.
