ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
The ABC is making a last-ditch effort today to lure Prime Minister Scott Morrison through the door by setting up a “Shire Dad” trap in their Sydney Studios.
Complete with a Cronulla Sharks themed beer pong table and a cube of full-strength Coca Cola, the trap set by senior producers is just the latest in a long line of plans they’ve made to bag the buck.
“If this doesn’t work, I don’t know what will,” said the producer.
“Because we’ve already tried everything and nothing’s worked. We’re thinking outside the box here, well, outside the cube if you will [explosive laughter and handclaps] Yes, if we can’t get him with this, we’ll have to hire Karl Stefanovic [more explosive laughter] or maybe even, God, I can’t believe I’m going to say this, Andrew Bolt! [wheezing]”
“Oh man, imagine if we dressed David Speers up like Andrew Bolt, like with a prosthetic chin and gave him speech training so he’d sound like a posh Glenelg twat! Holy cow, it would be so funny.”
Since calling the election, people at the ABC have claimed Scott Morrison is afraid of going on a popular ABC news show.
Mr Morrison proved them wrong the other day by going on a mid-morning Radio National programme, or perhaps a local Sydney one, which totally owned those people who said he was being a giant pussy.
However, a local Liberal staffer has told The Advocate that Scott Morrison wouldn’t be going on a prime time show like “Boring Corners” or “730” because his media team don’t want him to make a fool of himself in the lead up to the election.
They said there’s a clear strategy that involves Mr Morrisoin doing the media he wants.
“You would have to have a brain-blowing more blue smoke than a third-hand Ozito whipper snipper to think ScoMo would let himself be eviscerated by some thought leader like Michael Rowland,” they said.
The staffer then made it clear to this masthead that they use male pronouns and to stop referring to them as they.
“How they at the ABC carry on like they have a right to interview someone just because they work at the ABC. What next? They go over to interview The Queen but the Palace says “no” – and then when they get a 5.56mm round in the breadbasket when they try to climb over the fence into Windsor Castle, it’s not their fault,”
“The same thing is happening here.”
More to come.
