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With teachers nationwide throwing their hats into the ring or threatening to strike, National Cabinet has had to get a little creative with incentivising them to return to the classroom.
Speaking ahead of the meeting of Premiers and federal leaders, a spokesperson for the National Cabinet has unveiled a bold new plan to get teachers to work through this thing – a pizza party.
The backpedaling comes as the school opening dates loom near, and follows the government pretty much claiming that teachers were seen as glorified babysitters.
This has led to talks of bringing in teachers from overseas and pleading ‘think of the children’ to coax teachers out of retirement.
Even parents are being called to supervise children in a last-ditch attempt at normalcy, though most are understandably nervous of the thought of entering what is essentially a mecca for the spicy cough – as anyone who’s seen a child cough can testify.
Considering guilting teachers has failed to tug at the heartstrings, government officials have been forced to brainstorm or concede defeat.
But with the nation experiencing food, health and housing shortages, education is one final infinity stone the minister doesn’t want collected.
The bold new idea of a shitty pizza party was apparently thrown up by an intern, who said they were a pretty popular incentive to getting students to work harder and should therefore work on teachers too.
It’s not yet known what the Teachers Union will make of the decision, but it’s believed a few shitty slices of Hawaiian might not get them over the line.
More to come.
