ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Tech billionaire Bill Gates has reportedly lost his entire fortune playing Keno at a Mackay club this afternoon.
A short time ago, the American was ejected from Gale’s Sports Bar on the Mackay Harbour after bar staff allegedly witnessed him abusing Pelican Pete, a popular video pelican who features in the poker machine game of the same name.
Staff will also allege that after losing his last $20 into Pelican Pete, Mr Gates pushed the complimentary meat pie he was eating up Pelican Pete’s cash slot while telling Pete he might as well take his “fucking pie” as he’d taken everything else.
In a statement to The Advocate out the front of Gale’s, Bill said he didn’t do his arse on Pelican Pete, he did his arse on the Keno.
“And a little bit on the Trackside, the electric greyhounds,” he sighed.
A visibly intoxicated Gates then asked if the rest of the interview could be conducted lying down in the agapanthuses out the front near the cab rank.
“Fuck me, I’m fucking wasted, man,” he started.
“But yeah man, I’ve been here all day. I’ve been on the punt. Fucking Wagga Races and Keno, uppa. All day, mate. Oi but yeah wait up, I’ve got an arse full of Tatts tickets I need to scan. Fuck, did they kick me out,”
Mr Gates then let out a long sigh.
“Don’t ever get married, mate. It’s not worth your trouble. I just lost $67 billion in one afternoon on the punt, no wonder my wife is fucken jack of me. Stinking of fish guts, covered in tuna blood. Rotten, motherless drunk in a bush with some journalist,”
“Fucken lot on my life right now, mate.
More to come.
