ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
North Korean leader Kim Jong-Un has appeared on the hermit kingdom’s state broadcaster this morning to debunk western media reports about his ill-health.
The North Korean State Broadcaster assured viewers that their Dear Leader’s eyes have always been painted on and that his sickly pallor is actually him adapting to the Asian summer.
“Dear Leader adjusts his body temperature to the weather to make his organs work most efficiently,” said the state broadcaster.
“As it is summer, Dear Leader runs his body at 12 degrees to keep himself cool. His lips have always been a healthy purple hue, which is a sign on great virility,”
“Right now, Dear Leader is keeping very still. He stays stiffer than a boogie board. When he is like this, his organs get as much use as Malcolm Turnbull’s Kayo account. They stay dormant as he rests,”
“Long live our Dear Leader.”
The Advocate reached out to the North Korean Consulate in the French Quarter for comment but have yet to receive a reply.
More to come.
