FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT
In an unusual move, no players in the Betoota Bandicoots Under 12s soccer team were awarded MVP on Saturday morning; the coveted plastic trophy and McDonalds Happy Meal voucher instead being handed to a player’s father who made the volunteer umpire burst into tears.
The Bandicoots were tied 6 – 6 against rivals Birdsville Budgies with 8 minutes remaining when the ball was thrown-in and said by some to have touched the hand of one of the Budgies before being kicked and played-on by the Bandicoots.
However, play was then interrupted by one of the Bandicoot’s fathers, Grant Perkins, who demanded the umpire stop the game and award the Bandicoots a penalty. When the 16 year old volunteer umpire ignored the outburst, the angry dad then walked onto the field, confiscating the ball and confronting the umpire over the issue.
“Oi, what the fuck umpire? His hand clearly touched the ball!” the fiery father fumed, according to witnesses. “Not intentional? Who cares if it’s intentional? Read the rules, mate! My grandma can see that’s a penalty and she’s 600kms away in a fucking cemetery”.
After a brief, one-sided altercation the umpire burst into tears and ran into the clubhouse, forcing the club secretary to umpire the rest of the game. After play resumed, the Bandicoots went on to score another goal, winning 6-7 in a nail-biting finale.
Following the match, the club secretary controversially awarded the MVP trophy to Perkins, admitting that the outburst was a turning point in the game, after which the opposing team seemed very nervous coming anywhere near the ball.
“It’s a big honour, I haven’t won an actual trophy since I took home the “Most Improved Spelling” trophy for a week in Year 8 English” said dad bod poster child Perkins. “But I really do think my actions turned the game around and it’s nice to be recognised.”
Meanwhile, the umpire, who has requested anonymity for his own safety, says he has asked the club to ban Perkins from future matches as he does not feel safe. “I hope I never see that guy again.” he said. “Assholes like that ruin the game for everyone. I can’t believe they gave him the MVP trophy. Glad he got the Maccas voucher though. My sister works at Betoota McDonalds and I’ll make sure she makes his meal reeaaaal nice”.
