EFFIE BATEMAN | Local News | Contact
When local woman Tegan Ellis had come home one Saturday afternoon in a shit mood, she’d been looking for a sympathetic ear concerning the latest drama in her friendship circle.
Relaying the day’s events to her rather mild-mannered husband, Nick, Tegan had hoped he’d nod along and throw in a couple ‘you’re rights’ while she let off some steam.
However, Tegan’s attempts at venting out her frustration were quickly thwarted by Nick’s incessant need to offer practical, rational solutions.
“I offered to pay Lisa’s way last week because she said she was poor”, vents Tegan, “like I know you shouldn’t give your friend’s money and she didn’t ask for it but I wanted to have a good night.”
“Then, fucking next week she shows us a new tattoo she just got. So she can pay for that but not tickets to see a shitty band?”
“Classic fucking Lisa.”
“Oh, and remember the group AirBNB we booked three years ago?”
“Well I never said anything but she straight up just took the room with the balcony even though I’M the one who booked everything?”
“I want to FEEL THE FUCKING OCEAN BREEZE TOO, LISA.”
When Nick suggested that it’d be best to speak with Lisa about the problem instead of agreeing that she was a ‘selfish cow’, Tegan reportedly hit the roof.
“I KNOW I’m being irrational and focussing on one minor thing in an otherwise very good friendship.”
“And that I could easily solve this problem by having better communication skills and being more assertive.”
“But fucking hell, just let me vent.”
