ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Jesus Christ, son of God, has been railroaded into giving the Prime Minister policy advice once again – despite him telling Scott Morrison repeatedly that he knows next to ‘fuck all’ about economics.
Mr Christ spoke briefly to Scott this morning via interstellar mobile, where The Advocate can confirm that Jesus’ advice on raising the cost of some useless university degrees.
“Jesus Christ, Scott,” said Jesus.
“I don’t know much about that. Mate, you know I love you but you’ve got to stop asking me for advice on this type of stuff. Greyhounds and ponies, mate, I’m yours. The economy and social issues, I’ve got as much hope as Christopher Pyne has at keeping up with the ALDI checkout,”
“As for this uni degree business, just make the useless degrees more expensive. Like political geography, law and other things private school kids do to make sure their parents don’t feel like they wasted all that money,”
“Ok, I’ve got to run. Arnold Palmer and I are playing ambrose against David Hookes and Keith Miller. You probably wouldn’t know who these blokes are but they’re a big fucken deal. You should see the peace my old man gave Keith. It’s fucken huge. Soft Keith is bigger than a hard Shane Heal – which is hard to believe.”
More to come.
