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Improvise. Adapt. Overcome.
The wise words, first uttered by the marine corps and made famous by Bear Grylls, has now become the war cry of those deeply affected by Coronavirus, as businesses and institutions scramble to find ways to navigate what may be months of strange purgatory in the darkest timeline.
One such company, Betoota French Quarter’s ritziest establishment ‘The Gilded Frog’, has had to seriously pivot their business model in order to survive.
The thirty-two-year-old restaurant, known for its plush velvet bar tops, a fifteen stage deconstructed degustation menu and complimentary colonic irrigations, has prided itself as being the pinnacle of fine dining in Betoota’s upper echelon district.
The Frog’s owner, Sir Lionel Von Crupp the second, is sure his snobby patrons will no doubt support the business through these trying times.
But nonetheless, the severely overpriced establishment has had to modernise its menu with ‘Gilded Le Voyage’ – a brand new fancy app that promises to deliver meals in five minute increments.
“What we’ve always sold is a sensory experience”, says Lionel, “I’ve personally always thought the act of consuming food should be difficult and drawn out.”
Lionel adds that he was initially worried that some of the signature meals, such as the five morsels of deconstructed ravioli drizzled in pangolin oil would be hard to offer in a takeaway container, but says that his customers were ‘more than delighted’ to be pretentious wankers from the comforts of their own home.
More to come.
