CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
On top of the low lows that come with isolating from COVID-19 during the depressing transition into the winter months, one local woman has now found herself in a position where shit actually can’t get any worse.
Local dentistry assistant Sophie Moore (27) has today had to end things with Brett, a local electrician that she knows nothing about other than the fact that he still lives with his parents and loves going to the Goldie.
After one drunken date at one of those weird mini-golf venues in early February, Sophie had high hopes for this one.
But, as she explains over the fence to her consoling girlfriend Ellie, it just wasn’t to be.
“I don’t know” says Sophie between sobs.
“It’s not like I expected him to move it with me or anything. But *sniffles* he just wasn’t making that much of an effort”
While Ellie does her best to suggest to Sophie that maybe it’s worth revisiting this relationship when the planet is not dealing with an unprecedented global pandemic – her words of wisdom do little to cheer up the distraught forever-bridesmaid.
“No” Sophie says firmly.
“It’s like, I know that no one really expected this. But it’s pretty clear he’s a commitment-phobe.”
Ellie then tries her hand at another angle, suggesting that there is plenty more fish in the sea and she doesn’t really know Brett that well anyway.
“This is exactly what he wants!” cries Sophie, as she begins to ramp up the tears again.
“He’s so toxic. I just don’t need people like him in my life. I’m sick of it”
This blatant violation of social distancing measures between Sophie and Ellie continues, with both women even going as far as hugging each other over the fence.
At time of press, the 31 Australians were still in a critical condition due to Coronavirus and 1000 others remain infected.
MORE TO COME.
