CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
In yet another inspiring example of the extra-lengths the New South Wales Police Force have taken to improve their reputation with the youth, the cops have today admitted to pressuring live music venues around the nation to cancel sold-out concerts for OneFour, the biggest musical act in the country.
This comes after a long couple months for the NSW Police, who’ve ignored the state coroner’s advice into musical festival deaths by bumping up their sniffer-dog presence and refusing to discuss new pill-testing measures.
The NSW Police have instead opted to a state-wide increase of random on-the-spot strip searching of underage commuters and festivalgoers
New data shows 122 teenage girls were strip-searched by officers since 2016, when the New South Wales government decided that shutting down every nightclub in their state wasn’t enough – and began a multibillion dollar crusade to criminalise any kids found guilty of having a couple disco biccies in their pockets.
Of those teenage kids reportedly strip searched in public, two were aged 12 and eight were 13.
However, the NSW Police Commissioner Mick Muller is refusing to take a backwards step when it comes to protecting the youth with intrusive violations of personal freedoms and authoritarian censorship.
“This OneFour stuff is just a phase. We shouldn’t pay any mind to it” said Muller in a press conference today.
“If you ignore the millions and millions of streams on Youtube and Spotify and the national tour that sold out in half an hour, they are just a bunch of scary westies in sportswear”
“I’m more a Nickelback guy personally. Now that’s real music!”
With the underage girls finally under control, their newest target is Mount Druitt rap music – which has attracted criticism from private school parents because all of their kids are now using fake Polynesian accents and rapping about stuff that happens in Mount Druitt.
One of Australia’s most popular new musical acts has been forced to cancel the first two performances of their first national tour, with police raising concerns about public safety at the gigs.
The group’s management said they believed the sold-out Melbourne and Adelaide show was cancelled at the request of NSW Police, who are pressuring live music venues around the country to stop giving these young Polynesian musicians an opportunity to get off the streets.
However, NSW Police have defended their 1990s-FBI-style attitude towards rap music, with one spokesperson pointing out the NSW Police would prefer young Islander men stay in their lane and only play rugby league.
“The NSW police obviously love supporting live music and the arts, and we definitely don’t cut corners by attempting to cancel any event that results in young people gathering in the same place to have fun. But, much like the Australian media, we prefer to see the young fobs playing footy not music”
