ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A Chinese spy moonlighting as an international student has been given the challenge of infiltrating the Katter Australia Party, which means he’s effectively being forced to learn Slim Dusty’s entire back catalogue.
Slim released 118 records during his time on this planet. 60 studio albums, about 40 compilations, a few live albums and a handful of EPs.
That’s a lot of music, according to anybody in the business. Some in the business even say that even Slim himself couldn’t remember the words to every song he’d written.
The Member for Kennedy, however, claims to know all the words to every Slim Dusty song ever written. And that’s got Dennis Wang nervous.
The business studies student turned spy for the Chinese Communist Party spoke briefly to The Advocate this morning where he said learning all of Slim’s songs is going to be his own personal Everest.
“When the Chinese government told me to infiltrate the Katter Australia Party, I knew it was going to be difficult,” he said.
“But when they told me to learn all of this Slim man’s songs, I nearly took the cyanide tablet out of my Nike Airmaxes and swallowed it,”
“Every song sounds the same. How does this Bob man know all of them? Is he a genius? I have googled him and people think he is a fool! I’m very confused!”
But young Dennis accepted the task, telling his overlords that he’s ready to serve China.
So earlier this week, he travelled to Slim’s birthplace near Kempsey to visit the Slim Dusty centre and eat a couple crocodile pies from Fredos.
“The pies, are they real crocodile? Again, I am confused. The trip to Kempsey has taught me nothing thus far. I’m not even sure the KAP has approved my membership yet.”
“Being a spy is difficult, it’s not like the films. I don’t think I’ll ever get to shoot anybody. Unless Bob takes me hunting some cattle duffers, like he said he would”
The Advocate reached out to the KAP for comment but
More to come.
