Angus Taylor Drops A Carton Of New Off At Barnaby’s To Thank Him For Taking The Heat Off

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Federal Energy Minister Angus Taylor was under the pump yesterday amid calls for a Senate inquiry into his conduct as a Member of Parliament.

The Senate ultimately voted 33 to 32 to reject Labor’s push for a Senate inquiry but according to Coalition insiders, had it not been for Barnaby Joyce’s sacrifice yesterday, it could’ve gone the other way and opened a can of worms the government would prefer never to open.

The Advocate spoke briefly to Mr Taylor this morning where he explained that it was a close call and he owes his colleague a few ice cold Lidcombe lagers.

“Yeah fuck. Twenty-four cold beers to be exact,” he laughed.

“Thank God for Barnaby. We needed something to take the heat off me and the media loves to whip poor old Barnaby whenever they get a chance. So I gave him a bell yesterday morning. He wasn’t too happy about it but he agreed to do it for the benefit of the government,”

“Hey look. Yeah sure, I might’ve done some dodgy shit here and there but nothing that bad. Everybody in here has done it at some point. Anyway, how ’bout all the media Barney got yesterday?”

“It worked, did it? Only The Schmardian and a few other rags that real people don’t read picked up on me getting whipped by Labor in the red room. Anyway, I dropped a box of blue bottles off at Barnaby’s office this morning and now we can get back to the job of running the country.”

Our reporter reached out to the Office of the Member for New England for comment, but he was still a bit sore from sleeping in David Littleproud’s hotel room bathtub last night to speak to The Advocate before the time of print.

More to come.