ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
The nation responsible for the worst quarter of our national flag thinks their cricket fans are allowed to boo David Warner each time he comes out to bat, a national survey has found.
However, the truth is that only Australians are allowed to boo David Warner, Steve Smith and to a lesser
The Advocate took to the streets of our cosmopolitan desert community to see what regular, everyday Australians think about the bung-toothed stinky pommie fucks booing our World Cup Heroes.
“David Warner might be a cheating flog but he’s our cheating flog! He’s done his time. Let him play,” said Deverill Slacks of Betoota Heights.
“David Warner might be a lot of things but one thing he is is a fucking winner. He’s a red-blooded Australian hell-bent on fucking winning. Power to him. Just look at the stats. He’s one of the greatest openers in Australian history. Run at me if you disagree.”
Linda Coleman of the French Quarter echoed Mr Slacks’ comments – even though she doesn’t follow cricket or sport in general.
The polite mother-of-three said that booing people in sport is wrong and nobody should do it.
“Booing people is wrong,” she said.
“But if anybody is allowed to boo David Warner, it’s us and nobody else. It’s like making jokes about your family. If anybody else does it, it’s not on and I’ll put a pair of scissors between your ribs and fucking end you,”
“The same goes with the cricket.”
In fact, after canvassing nearly a dozen people, everyone seemed to have the same opinion.
Including Zoid Green, an odd man who’s the type of person you’d avoid if you saw them walking toward you in the park.
He preferred not to share is locality with our reporter.
“Steve Smith is fine. He’s basically a robot. He can just double-click on cheerup.exe in his brain before he bats. Possibly decompressing bigbash.zip in the final ten overs to really get the party started,”
“But David isn’t a robot. He’s a great Australian who’ll go down in history as one of the greatest but most polarising sportsmen of a generation.”
Our reporter decided that was enough public interaction for one day and got a Lime Scooter back to the office.
More to come.
