CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
An noticeably overweight man wearing jeans and joggers on the beach has today sparked a wave of confusion for nearby sunbakers today, after giving the impression that he was punching unrealistically high.
The rotund loudmouth was seen dragging some sort of wheely briefcase through the sand, while nonchalantly ordering around what many believed to be his other half.
Ken, 43, was seen nearly losing balance on several occassions as he trudged through the soft sand – further cementing all generalisations that were rapidly being formed by gobsmacked witnesses.
As out-of-shape, in-symmetrical middle aged man that clearly likes fastfood, Ken was looking very much like an indoor cat being forced to visit the beach by his much younger and much hotter misso.
His female companion, a 19-year-old smokeshow by the name of Ellie, appeared to be hanging on to his every word as they gasbagged their way down to the water.
Everything however begins to make sense the moment Ken opens up his briefcase.
Ellie takes a position on all fours near the tideline and begins rotating through extremely provocative poses.
Ken, crouched down with an enormous SLR begins awkwardly suggesting positions like the the low budget influencer photographer he is.
At time of press, Ellie was nearing the 40-minute mark on a phone call with her Gold Coast Suns recruit boyfriend, as Ken remained stuck in an excruciating lunge, waiting for the next shot.
