MORRIS GOOCH | Local News | Contact
A largely unpopular local university student took to the dance floor of the Dickless Parrot Hotel in Betoota Heights last night to showcase his ability to do the robot while simultaneously dropping his guts.
Miles Perryford, a 21-year-old business studies from nearby Jundah, told our reporters that he often enjoys cutting the rug of a Saturday evening but clearing the dance floor with his foul effluence is something that just kind of happens sometimes.
The disgusting Scorpio spoke to our reporter this afternoon via wireless telephone about last night.
“You can do it because you can get away with it quite easily,” he said.
“It’s hard to pin the blame on somebody when you’re all in a crowd. So last night I was on the DF and the DJ was doing this really ham-fisted Daft Punk mashup. I was doing the robot and I felt that wagyu burger rotting in my guts. The gurgling and wheezing. And then I felt this hot pocket of gas start snaking its way through my body,”
“I guess it’s journey was hastened by my dancing. Anyway, I let it rip just has the drop was coming up in Waters of Nazareth. It was pretty bad, people were dancing and bopping along to the music with the most disgusted look on their faces. One girl even vomited.”
Our reporter was so appalled at Mr Perryford’s admissions that he hung up on him.
More to come.
