New Tesla Fitted With Road Rage Feature That Shouts Pedo At Motorists When It Gets Cut Off

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact

The Tesla Model 3 for the first time is open for sale to all car buyers in Australia/Pacific — with a few new features

Customers can now buy a Model 3 and expect delivery in one to three months, according to Tesla. The car is Elon Musk’s attempt to make an affordable sedan that isn’t classed as luxury.

The electric-car magnate has been rushing to ramp up production of the Model 3, on which its short-term financial success depends – after his fuck around this week.

Musk has garnered criticism after arriving at the scene of the Thai cave rescue in a hope to save the day with a mini-submarine, before being told to go away and stop trying to make it about him.

After the rescue operation’s lead diver this week told media that Musk was doing nothing but pulling a PR stunt, the Afrikaans entrepreneur responded by calling the veteran rescuer a ‘pedo’ on Twitter.

While wildly inappropriate and possibly defamatory, it appears that accusing people of unfounded crimes against children is a go-to powerplay in Silicon Valley – with Tesla sales reps around the country encouraged to accuse reluctant buyers of pedophilia to get them over the line.

So popular is this slur amongst egotistical, that Elon has insisted on including it in his new line of model 3 Teslas

By buying a Model 3, Tesla owners will now be able to automatically abuse other motorists in Elon Musk’s voice.

The new driverless-road-rage feature gives Tesla owners the ability to call people pedophiles for cutting them off, or beating them at the lights.

“This is the future of tech” said Musk, in a press conference earlier today.

“Calling people pedos for embarrassing or emasculating you is the future of cars!”