LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
The local music scene has been rocked by the news that busker Mitch Eastment (23) has staged his own drive-by shooting in order to promote his upcoming EP.
Considered a rising star in the busking scene, Eastment was reportedly found dead in his 1999 Hyundai Excel, although it was later revealed he had fallen asleep while listening to his own music, spilling a strawberry milk down his shirt as he did.
Dozens of fans showed their support with his Spotify plays going up by 9000%, earning him $1.26 in revenue before tax.
“It’s a good plan because I have so many enemies,” bragged the humble busker.
“Everyone I know is a suspect. I am in debt to all of them!”
Upon hearing the news of his alleged death, friends and family of Eastment forgave the troubled young man for his inappropriate behaviour and even gave his music a listen for once.
“It’s tragic,” stated close friend Laura Wall.
“I was definitely going to go to his next gig too. Probably.”
Even though he knows he can’t keep the act up forever, Eastment is confident that faking his violent death is the smartest career choice he has made so far.
“I’m not asking for much, just to move some records out of my parent’s garage. It’s not like I’m asking people to forgive me for the horrible things I’ve done… but let’s be honest they probably will now.”
