TRACEY BENDINGER | Society | Contact
Local Betoota Quarryman and all-round piss cutting legend, Jeronimo Regalé, has this morning had some trouble pinpointing the exact causation of the 5mm circular burn that is now weeping on the underside of his bicep.
Jeronimo, who is laying on the couch adjacent to his housemate, Clive, is trying his best to recall what could have possessed him to allow someone to press a 600-degrees-Celsius smouldering stick of tobacco into, arguably, the most sensitive section of skin on the human body.
“Fuck what was I thinking?”
“Someone must have pinned me down”
“There’s no way I let this happen”
Jeronimo continued to recap his night, constantly asking Clive if he had any idea who would do this to him.
According to our reports, however, Clive was, in fact, the one who inflicted the cigarette burn on Jeronimo.
We reached out to Clive for comment, who was more than happy to reveal the truth.
“Yeah, boys, it was a pissa”
“He was walkin’ around with his shirt off, flexing, saying ‘nothing can hurt these guns’”
“I just thought, fuck it, I bet I can. And I burnt the shit out of him”
“Don’t tell him, but. I like that he’s in the horrors today. He’s a jed on the piss.”
It’s understood that Jeronimo still has no idea that it was Clive, his closest confidant, who tarnished his soft alabaster skin.
More to come.
